Tagged: weird

50K thanks and weird search engine terms

 

Views

Recently this blog reached the 5×10^4 views. Thank you, that’s a big achievement, now let’s fight all together for the peace in the world. If you want we can also fight for peace in Word. It will be simply awesome if that crappy word processor will be compatible with itself. Yes, you right, the peace in the world seems to be more achievable. Let’s go with that. 

Anyway, thank you for reading/watching/staring/spamming/be spammed by this blog. One of my main question when I decided to start a blog was “ok, what’s the audience you want to have”, few seconds later my brain convinced me with “who cares…. We are doing it just for pure fun” – “Fair enough brain, let’s do it”. 
Close to 1 year from my first post, I’m now here and I don’t actually know why I reached 50k views. A little bit of data mining showed that most of the people are coming from reddit/facebook/twitter….. But another 1/4 is coming from search engines…. Seriously? What in this world you can search for ending up in this blog?

So I decided to take a look in the search terms that brought people here (yes, I can see your search terms when you land here)…… I should admit, I was quite impressed and naturally showing the search terms is always a good excuse for some fun.

Moreover I hate when I search something and then I’m ending up in a website that will not give me the answer I was searching for. Now I can answer all (or most) of the searched terms that you didn’t find in this blog.


In bold the search phraseIn Italic my honest answer

 

thanking cats in thesis acknowledgement it depends on how much your cat contributed to the thesis. Did some experimental part? Was a guinea pig? then you should thank him.

nerdy chemistry lines 2013 a lot of lines. For example 6 in cyclohexane, 9 in benzene 

science of gokuit’s more biology than chemistry, so I don’t really know. I guess is some mutation or a missing link.

swears chemical please, be my guest.

loi noi dau cua laun van tot nghiepyes!

elastic band on sleeves of my lab coat chemistrythe 10mL cylinder will thank you (full story here)

what is the 10ml cylinder used for?you crash them as stress reliever.

sexy video in chemistry labI’m open to discuss that.

관 크로마토그래피 maybe.

janitor fucking robot in the lab porn movie what?. 

how blind are you when you need -4.75 cylinderquite a lot, I would go for the laser actually.

www.xxxx.2.dcmno, but dcm is dichloromethane 

http://excellentmovies.orgI’ll take a look, thanks.

column chromatography don’t know what my product is NMR and Mass or DART from TCL.

fucking chemistry miss in the lab pornwhat’s wrong with you guys?

how to shut down sarcastic peoplegood luck with that my best friend. I like you very much. 

what’s that confocal microscopy? you need an hour? should i read twitter while i wait? ok, ok confocal, we cool. Google or Wikipedia

sklodowska xxxxSeriously? there are those kind of video about Marie Cuire?? Now i need to check this out (and then finishing in the search terms of some other blogs and spread the urban legend.

is marmite bad for you 2013Yes. For you and all the humanity.

how to make a mind-blowing french 10 curriculum I would say baguette and croissant. Maybe fromage.

crap officeagree. 

how to immerse the micropipette tip into the liquid/culture to a pirateuhmm. I don’t actually know, maybe you can hold the pipette with your mouth like a knife while entering your boss office cheering him with “ahoy captain” 

i hate hplc I see your pain and I raise with “I hate AFM”

it was one of those days

Sometimes you have one of those days… Today, it was definitely one!

Everything started this morning when I spill my tea in the microwave. At that point I was still optimistic. Although the microwave was full of hot water, it was first morning.

Then I went to the university, and we had to move the stuff out of our office because they are going to refurnish it. It was anticipated, so we were almost organized for doing it. Naturally, when there is something to do in the lab, some people magically disappear in a cloud of silica, no way to find them anywhere. After many years in the lab I’m not ranting anymore for this attitude. I still think it’s not fair, but I don’t care anymore. However, we discover quite a lot of crates of beers in the office (Figure 1, farewell parties, feierabend and so on)

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Finally, before lunch I managed to set up my column chromatography. Start eluting and noticed that probably I used too much cotton and sands. It was definitely too slow. So I decided to not go for lunch downstairs, but to load the column and eat in the office.

Few minutes later, a labmate show me an inflatable house build in the middle of the university garden…. (Figure 2)
An. Inflatable. House.
I was going to run outside and check if it was done with marzipan, but, no, I had to finish the column. There were also some people trying segways in the garden.
Segways in the university.
No, I had to finish the column. Focus. Damn. Focus. Column. Product before tonight. Focus!
Segways.

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I was strong enough to resist the temptation of going outside when one guy come almost screaming in the lab: “who is the lab-assistant in this lab?” ” you need to empty the second office before 16.00 today”…. Are you kidding me? Two hours advice? OK, I close the column and start moving stuff outside our second and shared office.
Another “set” of labmates disappeared again. Calm down. Calm down.
One labmate come back from his way home for helping us in the moving. Respect!

Now, you may think that things in north Europe are perfectly programmed and functional. I don’t want to disappoint you but it’s not like this. It’s definitely not like this.
We discover that the “empty-you-office” order was given to all our floor. This resulted in a crap-overcrowded corridor (Figure 3, and yes we do have bike wheels in our offices, we are in the Netherlands…).

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One hour later, someone from the high floors realized how much crap there was in the corridor, and come back with another brilliant order: “you should bring the important stuff somewhere else, otherwise it will be trashed”.
To the legit question “where the hell are we supposed to put this stuff?” the answer was “here and there, maybe in the glovebox room”. I was too tired to complain and we just move stuff again. And again, and again. Now also the second office was empty.
What do you do with an empty office? Playing squash of course (Movie 1, the guy who enter in the room is actually the one who told us to move all the crap in and out, right and left).

Still something in the corridor, no more space anywhere. We just put a poster on the crap, hoping that we will find it again tomorrow (Figure 4).

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God Lord, the day was almost over, I was watching the column. I really didn’t have any strength for finishing that stuff today (children: don’t’ try this at home, if you start a column, finish it during the day!!!). The best thing for finishing one of those day is with a beer. (Do not drink and then come back working in the lab. Never ever and ever. Not even a beer if you have to do active work in the lab. The lab is a dangerous place. It’s fine if it’s just a beer with labmates before going home. Do not come back to work after drinking!!!)

So I open one and relax with some labmates watching some Monty Python sketches  (Figure 5-6)

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After that I was going home when I realized that my “new” bike had the infamous “dynamo” (someone two days ago stole my bike and I had to buy a new second-hand one). I was unlocking the bike and at the same time cursing most of the known Gods.
The dynamo needs something like 356.2% more effort for going at normal speed. And I had to bike for 6km to go home….
Anyway, after the first couple of meters I realized that the front light was point somewhere in the middle of the sky. Something in between looking for aliens on other planets and the Batman signal.
Coming back home I blinded I don’t know how many Dutch bikers with my pointing-to-the-sky-light. Unfortunately no signs of Batman.

And now finally this weird day it’s over (Figure 7).
Many many thanks to all the selfish and smartass labmates that didn’t move a finger for helping in the moving.

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And just for the sake of fun (as always): during the moving we discover:
Three beers with expiration date 2009,2011 and 2012. We merciless drank them.
An onion, unknown origin. Wating for carbon dating.
A vaseline can.
German books from 1902.
1960-70 safety goggles (Figure 8-9)

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